Today, I added a cryptic status update on Facebook:
Somebody called {The Man Beast} and I old souls. I've recently grown to accept the fact. It's terribly alienating, though.As a Christian, I certainly don't believe in a reincarnated soul - a classic definition of the term commonly found in any search engine. However, there is an undeniable characteristic that is shared by the Man Beast and myself. In fact, as she gets older, I even recognize the same characteristics in Baby Girl.
The Man Beast and I have been called The Old Married Couple. In fact we feel like an old married couple. A lot of this has to do with the fact that despite getting married at a very early age, there were certain attitudes we brought into our marriage - one of them being that divorce wasn't an option. It's funny when you take out this simple part of a very complex equation what it does to a person. Evidently, it makes you an old soul.
I think Old Souls are created, not born. I believe that circumstances, behaviors, and attitudes shape our overall being. For example, as a child, I communicated with adults far more than children my own age. I believe Baby Girl's old soul is the result of her anxiety. The Man Beast and I are both the oldest siblings of our families, each being considerably older than our brothers and sisters. Certainly this all attributes to something!
Regardless of how we came to be what we are, however, the result is the same. It is terribly lonely not being able to make any "real" connections with those around you. It causes others to perceive you as quiet, standoffish, shy (or worse), rude - none of which could be further from the truth.
To all the gamers out there, I can compare it to playing a role playing game (RPG) and having gone through all the levels before, despite it just being released to the public. Maybe it's because you've played a million games like it or maybe you're so familiar with the outline of how the game is played, you just know what to do. To your other gamer friends, you ruin all the surprises of the game - or you look like a show off. But in actuality, you're just tired of the game that everyone else seems to be so obsessed with.
And as I mentioned on Facebook, it can be terribly alienating.
Kai has been told this a lot too. And really he does (sometimes, lol) act much older than you would expect a man in his 20s to act. I think a lot of it, like you said has to do with the environment in which you were raised, and your general attitude towards life. While he and I never said divorce is not an option, we did say it would be an option of last resort, ie we would have tried many other things such as counseling, etc before deciding that was our only option left. And it does make a difference when you say "we aren't going to go there".
ReplyDeleteHere's to us old souls, alienated, and perhaps therefore we find each other to be together <3